Friends

My first memory of Benard happened my first week in Jinja. I had arrived to do a year internship with Redeemer House Children’s Home. As a way to get to know the staff, the intern prior to me thought a good way for me to get to know the rest of the staff would be to have a game night. I am not a fan of games, but played anyway. The game was called 1-100. Everyone is racing to see who could write out the numbers one through one hundred the quickest. The trick is, there is only one pencil. I can’t remember all the rules, but the others are rolling dice to see who gets to have the pencil while you frantically write numbers. I also can’t remember who won – although, I am sure it wasn’t me. One thing I do remember was Benard enthusiastically cheating! He was so hyped up that he grabbed the pencil out of David’s hand, although it was clearly Esther’s turn! We all laughed so hard that night. I spent the rest of the year teasing him over this and he teased me over… well, I gave him plenty of material!

Benard quickly became a brother to me. To this day, he holds a special place in my heart. He loves Jesus and seeks to make Him known to all those around him. I came to appreciate how everything Benard does, he does with all his heart and to the glory of God. I was so thankful Benard was a part of my Redeemer House story.

Mama Caroline became my African mom the day we discovered I was the same age as her oldest son. I was still getting to know her, so I was a little leery of allowing her to call me her “first born daughter from America”. At this point, I understood what role adult children played for their parents and I knew I couldn’t fulfill that role. Yet, the Holy Spirit urged me to let my guard down. A beautiful thing happened – I was truly adopted into this family, but never were there any expectations to keep with Ugandan traditions. Rather, I was loved deeply by Mama’s entire family.

Mama Caroline’s husband is a pastor, and they serve their village with incredible obedience to their Heavenly Father. They often take in the outcasts of their community, finding a way to provide shelter for the orphan, helping those with disabilities find how they may support themselves, and loving street children as their own. Mama Caroline taught me what it means to carry each other’s burdens. She took time to listen to me and to pray with me. I was expected to do the same for her, and what an honor! She was a sweet spot in my year in Jinja.

So, why am I writing about these two friendships? After all, I live in Moroto now and haven’t served with Redeemer House for five years. And to add more, the tribes in and around Jinja are called Bantu, which means their people originate from Western Africa and have migrated east. The Karimojong are Nilo Saharan, which means they come from Ethiopia. Their lifestyle is completely different.

Benard’s wedding

Benard recently got married and I had the opportunity to attend both the introduction and the wedding. An introduction is a Ugandan tradition, which is ceremony where a bride and groom are “introduced”. It celebrates the finalization of the two families agreeing on terms of marriage. The bride’s family hosts the groom’s family while the groom showers the bride’s family with gifts and dowry. There is a lot of food, dancing, and baking in the sun. Of course, this is a very simple explanation but I hope it at least starts to answer your questions. I was informed by Benard that I was to attend both the introduction and the wedding, and I was so thankful I was able to make it happen. I loved being able to support Benard in this way. There was a week in between events. I took the days between as vacation days, where I intended to hide away in a hotel room, rarely making an appearance to the outside world, looking to refresh myself before returning to Moroto. I found refreshment; however, it was not from within the four walls of my room. I found it sitting on the street with Mama Caroline where she sells jewelry and paintings to tourists. I found it by supporting my brother in his marriage. 

I don’t have friends like Benard and Mama Caroline here in Moroto. In fact, I have come to understand my definition of “friendship” must change in Moroto. I have come to accept that my friends here are looking for what they can get out of me. My Karimojong friends who are believers are still babies in their faith. I feel I pour so much of myself into them without finding any renewal for myself in our friendship. I took such refreshingfriendships for granted in the States, but am learning how to adjust to this new idea of friendship. The answer? Relying more and more Jesus! 

My time with Benard and Mama quenched a thirst in me I didn’t even know I held. Beyond that, it gave me hope. Both are unique in their communities. I remember I struggled through other friendships in similar ways I do in Moroto. But somehow, these two rose above the norm. I do not have the luxury of knowing them before they began serving the Lord. I cannot share the transformation that happened within them, but I recognize the fact it was not overnight. They had individuals pouring themselves out in order to disciple them. Both Benardand Mama Caroline have shared stories of the people that taught them more of Jesus. Knowing that Christ transformed their lives, fills me with hope for my Karimojong friends. 

Oh, how I thank my Jesus for Benard and Mama Caroline. I thank Him for allowing me to spend time with these beautiful friends. I thank Him for knowing what my soul truly needs – never would I have pictured my time so refreshing (I am usually pretty introverted), but He always knows better than I! I thank Him for filling me with hope to press on as I pour into theindividuals He has given me.