I Wont Be The Same

I may have a problem.

I am falling in love! I started the fall the moment I heard a voice on the other line of my phone say, “Mary, we want you to be apart of Redeemer House.” But every day, I find myself more in love than the day before. How did I ever find contentment in what I was doing before?

In my New Testament Doctrine class at Boise Bible College, we memorized a definition of love that always struck my beautiful as I thought of how Christs loves us. It states, “An overwhelming concern for the well being of another with no regard to what you receive in return” (I believe Dr. Beckman deserves credit for this definition). However, since coming to Uganda, I am beginning to appreciate this definition as I love the children I work with. I look less and less to my needs, and turn that attention to the beautiful faces that surround me on a daily basis. This love overwhelms me. I will give anything for the well being of these kids.

I love to teach. It has always been apart of me, and while the kids have been out of school, I have helped them continue to learn and keep up with their studies. I love being apart of the discovery of a new concept. The moment when something didn't make sense, and suddenly it clicks in their head brings me some of the greatest joy. Currently, I can hear about five kids singing, “Allie Alligator, 'A' says 'ah'”. I learned this song at my old job. It helps kids learn the alphabet, and how to say the letter in a more fun way. Day by day, we go through each letter. Kids who have been struggling with letters are suddenly grasping them. I love being apart of that joy for them. I fall more in love with them, as I soak up the fact God chose to send me.

When you love a child (no matter the country, the culture, the family life), you must love unconditionally. Children by nature are dependent on those around them. They cannot give you anything in return. That is how God intended it. Through that unconditional love, we come to grasp onto our Father's love for us. We can never benefit Him in any way. He gets nothing from us, yet, He sent His only Son to redeem every last person on this planet. That is love. Without experiencing the love I have for these kids, I would still be lacking in my picture of how God loves us... I wish I could properly explain what I have experienced, but words are so lacking. All I can do is stand before God. No words. Just embrace the moment.

There is a song by Gavin Degraw called “Best I Ever Had” and it is my favorite non-Christian songs right now. Before I came to Uganda, I would crank it in my little Chevy Malibu (and believe me, my stereo could get LOUD) with the sun roof back (weather permitting) and go as fast as possible without getting a ticket. It is just one of those kinds of songs. I have a new appreciation for the song though. One day, I was riding a boda, and the song was stuck in my head. The chorus says, “Your the best I ever had, and I'm trying not to get stuck in my head, but I read that soda kills you and Jesus saves, on the bathroom wall where I saw your name.” Basically saying, “I am trying not to let you consume everything about me, but alas, I have fallen for you. You are the best I ever had.” How true is that for me right now! I knew I would fall madly in love with these kids, I mean I already had a soft spot for kids. But I came to Uganda to love these kids. I also came knowing I would be here for a year. I still have no clue what will happen at the end of this year, but I know I cannot try to push this love away because God might call me somewhere else. These kids have been the best I have ever had. The song continues on, and says, “Hey California, I think I love ya. Don't even know ya, I think I love ya.” On the back of that boda, I realized I was already in love with Redeemer House before I ever knew them. A beautiful picture of the past few months for me!

One day, I took a lot of videos, and decided to make one video out of them. It includes that song. Click here  to watch it.