In 5 short days, I will be heading back to America. I must say, going home proves to be a much larger leap of faith than when I came here to Uganda. I had three weeks to prepare. I knew that God was calling me, so I dropped everything and came. Now, I am returning to basically nothing. Sure, God continues to provide for me, and I know He will continue once I land and jump back into American life. However, I am still nervous. For the past couple months, I have been praying that God would go before me and pave the way. A few days ago, a friend of mine was praying over my return. She prayed that God would not only go before me, but go with me. Those words struck my heart, and I have been mulling over them for the past couple days.
I cannot count how many times I have prayed God would move before me -- to work in hearts of those I would be meeting -- to guide me through a new adventure. Yet rarely, if ever, have I prayed that God would go with me, where He should be in the first place. I much rather Him by my side, where He can be my constant Rock. Going with me means I will always have comforting arms to run into during those times I just want to cry, an urge of courage when I need to stand for what is right, and a dose of grace when I mess it all up! I want Him by my side at all times. I want Him guiding my way, with His arm around me to make sure I step in the right direction.
I grew up in churches, and for as long as I can remember, people always prayed for God to go before them in whatever big step they are facing at the time. I was taught to pray in such a manner. Never was I taught to pray for my Savior to go with me, as I venture into the unknown. I continue to question myself why, and I doubt I will ever have an answer. I always want my God to move before me, but He is great! He is capable of both. He moves before me, and wraps His arms around me and guides me through the path He cleared. I am choosing to invite God to walk alongside me, as I chase after Him. I hope to encourage others to do the same when facing a difficult change.
The past few days have been difficult, as the reality of my departure sinks deep into my heart. I began saying good bye to friends. My Ugandan friends are the hardest to say good bye to, especially those who do not understand what returning home means. I will return home after being wrecked in Uganda. I know there are those who will never understand the things my heart will be feeling at the time, and I know I will be feeling just a bit lost. Through this time, there is no other place that I want my King to be than by my side, holding me close! This will be my constant prayer.
I cannot count how many times I have prayed God would move before me -- to work in hearts of those I would be meeting -- to guide me through a new adventure. Yet rarely, if ever, have I prayed that God would go with me, where He should be in the first place. I much rather Him by my side, where He can be my constant Rock. Going with me means I will always have comforting arms to run into during those times I just want to cry, an urge of courage when I need to stand for what is right, and a dose of grace when I mess it all up! I want Him by my side at all times. I want Him guiding my way, with His arm around me to make sure I step in the right direction.
I grew up in churches, and for as long as I can remember, people always prayed for God to go before them in whatever big step they are facing at the time. I was taught to pray in such a manner. Never was I taught to pray for my Savior to go with me, as I venture into the unknown. I continue to question myself why, and I doubt I will ever have an answer. I always want my God to move before me, but He is great! He is capable of both. He moves before me, and wraps His arms around me and guides me through the path He cleared. I am choosing to invite God to walk alongside me, as I chase after Him. I hope to encourage others to do the same when facing a difficult change.
The past few days have been difficult, as the reality of my departure sinks deep into my heart. I began saying good bye to friends. My Ugandan friends are the hardest to say good bye to, especially those who do not understand what returning home means. I will return home after being wrecked in Uganda. I know there are those who will never understand the things my heart will be feeling at the time, and I know I will be feeling just a bit lost. Through this time, there is no other place that I want my King to be than by my side, holding me close! This will be my constant prayer.
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