I finally was able to visit the area I grew up this past weekend. Oh -- what a joy to see faces of love once more!
However, something was different this visit -- me. Although I haven't lived in Oregon for a number of years, visiting alway made me feel as though I never left. I assimilated so easily back into that life. But here is the thing about time, it continues to march forward. My life was rocked and shattered in Uganda. No way will I ever be the same. And as much as I changed, so did those I once knew better than I knew myself. That doesn't mean I love these people any less, but it makes me come to reality of my visitor status.
After church on Sunday, I went to my favorite little cafe. They have the best breakfast burritos in town! Growing up, we went there almost every week. As I sat there eating my burrito, I pondered the trip. In no way was I hurt or upset, but I noticed a difference. I knew exactly what it was. Everyone else did too! Most people at church said, "you have grown up!" Africa has a way of doing that to people. I grew up and they moved on. God called us all down paths of His glory. He is moving us all to places to make His name known. And now things are different. As I dwelled on these things, the song One Thing Remains came on the radio. It is a song about God's love -- how it will hold us through everything, and how it is the only thing that will ever remain the same. Obviously, it was the song I needed to hear.
Time marches forward. People change. Things we once controlled will some day be beyond our grasp. But God is still God (from the message at church-- God ties themes up subtly in my life on a regular basis). His love is constant. Even if my life changes, I know He remains the same. Sometimes, that is a hard pill to swallow. We want to blame God for the hard things in our lives, but we must remember that God is still God.
Now, please do not get me wrong! I still deeply love the area I grew up, and I highly respect those I saw! But things are different now. And it is for God's glory.
I look forward to visiting again soon. Maybe taking more time and sharing my heart with those I love.
On my twenty-fifth birthday, I looked back on a high school goal of mine. In one of my classes, we had to make those “by this point in my life I will (fill in the blank)” and make tangible goals to reach the dream. Mine? By age twenty-five, I would own my own hair salon in Newport, Oregon. My plan was to move to the Coast and have my hair license by age twenty so I could begin building a clientele that would sustain my own salon, as I saved to make this dream possible. This July, I hit that birthday. Let me tell you, not a single one of those goals or ambitions were accomplished! Yet, not a single part of me regrets not following my dream. First of all, it was my stubborn personality that kept that dream going for so long. The dream really should have stated, “Prove to others I can do what they said I couldn’t” because if I were to boil down a very long story, that was at the heart of this dream. I pretty much refuse to spend more than five minutes on my own hair. I don’t know what ...
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