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Rain Down

Dark rain clouds hover over Moroto, giving hope to the thirsty earth. “Oh Jesus,” I pray, as I eagerly anticipate the raindrops to sweeten the dusty air, “let it pour down, washing away the dust which covers all manners of life. Quench all the gardens, giving hope, they will once again hold a harvest.
“Even more, quench the souls of the precious Karimojong. Wash away the dust that dries their heart. Let Your glory and grace rain over their lives, quenching a thirst they do not acknowledge.
“But what about me?” as I walk these same dusty roads as the people my heart longs to serve, my prayer for them becomes the cry for my own heart. “I am like this desert land, in need of Your rain to settle this dust which stirs within my heart. I witness shop keepers in Kakolye turn from selling vegetables and grains to serving booze. The smell of stale alcohol drains my soul. I grow weary as drunk mamas cry out for me to drink with them.
“My heart aches as little toddlers grab my hand, ‘where is your family?’ I cringe as I watch a child screaming out for love from their mothers, yet only find a cold shoulder in place of the warm embrace they need. And as I lay helplessly in bed, the screams of a child beaten in the stillness of the night fill my ears and crush my spirit. What can I do for these precious little ones? 
“And as Mwatum fails to hide how her husband treats her, I am overwhelmed with what to do. Do I call her out on her lies? I am weary of this helpless feeling in my soul.
“God, send Your rain to drench my weary heart. Pour out Yournever failing and reckless love over me. Quench this thirst in my soul. Sing to me the plans you have for me over and over again.
“You call me to draw closer to You. My soul longs to obediently follow Your call, but with each step I take, the sting of my sinful nature penetrates to my core. As I long to run into Your arms, I only manage a step under the weight of this sin I have been blinded to for so long—sins of pride, of fear, of independence. Teach me to trust You with my whole heart – to the depths I don’t understand. Burn like a star, and expose every dark corner within me. Reveal to me these mysteries of myself I struggle to grasp, and let Your grace rain over my life.
“Teach me what it means to live boldly for You – to lay my life exposed for the world to witness Your glory. May the sound of my shortcomings meeting Your grace be echoed to those You give me. May it bring hope to those battling the same fight of self I fight. Teach me to live courageously.”
Soft water droplets gracefully fall from the sky. I lift my face, embracing the sweet gift from Heaven, as the drops grow heavier. They pound the ground as a drum, beating the rhythms of His mercy. I stand exposed to the downpour, allowing the thousands of drops to soak deep to my core. And I smile.
“Oh Father, let this refreshment begin a work of cleansing within me. I won’t allow this rain to allow mud to be stomped around me heart. Cleanse me of myself. Mold me in Your image.”
I continue down my path, knowing He walks with me, calling me deeper in Him.

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