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Fill Me With Grace

I have a bad habit. I pray about something, and my heart desires it. Take Uganda for example, I prayed for five years to return before God said, "Go". Now I am here. I am doing all that is within me to bring glory to His name. The bad habit, you ask? I get so caught up in the little details that I forget to pray for God's grace on a daily basis.
Grace is a beautiful gift. It gives us the ability to show Christ to all around us. Grace fills us with the attitude of Christ, and brings a sense of peace. Without grace, we allow our human nature to grab hold of us, and we become no different from the world. If we pour out grace to all around us, we must remember that we also must be refilled with the grace of God. As we pour out, we must humble ourselves before the Mighty King and ask for more. He, being full of grace, loves to see us spread His gift around so the entire world will know His love.
I am always prayerful of major events in my life. If I know I am going to do a big ministry opportunity, I pray for God to move mountains. I pray to be His tool. My heart is poured out for God to fill me to the max so I may reach more people with His love. If I know I am about to face a difficult situation, I beg God to give me the grace and wisdom to endure. On average days, where life just happens, I forget to pray with the same passion and energy. In the States, I would go to work, run errands, and go about life. I would say a quick prayer here and there, but never pray earnestly to be refilled with God's grace. Then, I would hit my breaking point. My patience would run completely out, or I would lose my temper. I would then have to humble myself before God, and ask Him to renew me again.
The other day, it happened again. It seemed as though everything broke, and no one could get along. I tried to fix everything on my own. That is where the trouble lay. No way will I be able to work in this orphanage by my own power. I am in a completely different culture, and the barriers that come along are numerous and overwhelming at times. People speak English, but it was never their first language, so communication can be shaky. And everywhere I go, I stand out like a sore thumb! People expect me to have money, and try to take advantage of the fact  that I do not know going rates. How could I ever survive that without the grace of God, and His constant guidance? The answer is simple: I cannot. I need to be led by His grace and mercy ever day! I need to be refilled every second. That will be the only way I will survive this adventure.
As I ponder this thought, I think of Romans 5:1-5 "Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." I feel as though those word describe my need for constant grace perfectly. No matter how crazy life may get, no matter how small the issues seem, I must boast in Christ alone. He is my reason I love being in Uganda. His love for me is why I patiently listen to broken English, and try to learn Lugandan. His heart for the world is why I am willing to go beyond anything I have ever known to share the grace He gives to those who do not know.
I have once again humbled myself before God, asking to be filled with grace once more. My prayer is that I continue to seek such a grace so I may be His tool every day. I want to break my bad habit! And it starts now!

Comments

  1. Yes!!! Praying with you and for you. I am blessed by your heart and your transparency. Rock on girl!!!!!

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