Learning To Laugh at Yourself

Through the past ten months, I have learned a rather large deal! The funnest has been living in the culture of Uganda. Now it is true that some of my learning moments were not fun in the moment, but great stories as I look back on the scenario! If anyone is planning to come to Uganda for any amount of time, believe me when I say I am no where near being an expert, but feel free to learn through me. Cut down on some of your own stories (because no matter how prepared you are, you will mess up and it will be funny... eventually).

For this first story, I need to explain a few things to get the full picture. Neighbors know when a mzungu lives near by. Even if you never left your house, they would know all there is to know about you. Yes, it is creepy... especially for an introvert like me. Also, you always leave the house looking decent. No such thing as a Walmart outfit, which requires effort on lazy days. Finally, kneeling is a sign of respect. Women and children kneel when greeting people above them. With these three things in the back of your mind, here is the story of my first Ugandan burial. It was the first day of a month long vacation for our kids. The plan was to work in the farm we were starting, however our next door neighbor died. Apparently, when a neighbor dies, you are not suppose to dig on your compound. No, I do not understand this, but that particular day there was no time to figure out why because the kids were already bored out of their mind! I decided we could do some crafts. I was in a big tshirt and shorts. My hair was a mess, and I was planning on never leaving the house that day. Esther came into the room where I was standing on a bench pulling down some paint, as it all fell on my head. She informed me that it was customary for the neighbors to go and greet the family who lost loved ones. I asked her if I had to – I had never met these people! She said, “You don't know them, but they know you because you are mzungu. It would be bad if you didn't come.” She agreed to go with me as long as we left then. She had lunch going. Well, we head over. Remember my outfit? Yeah, Esther said it was okay that I went like that. We walked onto the compound... It wasn't okay. Everyone was in their best clothes, and I was in some cut off jeans and a tshirt that said “It All Starts Here” (yeah... that is the Goonies). I had mud splattered all up my leg from who knows what! I was a general mess. I just followed Esther and Moureen's lead. When we reached the house, they knelt down to greet the family. So I did too. Apparently it is not okay for a mzungu to kneel. Everyone laughed hysterically! At least I brought some comic relief!

Once, my sink got completely clogged. It refused to drain. Now, I could have called someone to come and fix it for me, but I am not really that kind of person. I like saving a few bucks and doing it myself. Plus, just add a bit of draino and it will be good to go, right? Jinja is set up almost like a walmart would be. There is no such thing as a one-stop shop. But you can go to different sections of town to get what you need. Kinda like you would go down the automotive section in a super market, you go to the automotive street in Jinja. So, I headed to the hardware section of town. Not only was I the only female, but I was also the only white person! Basically, I stood out. That doesn't really bother me anymore. Now, I suspected that it was not called draino here in Uganda. I walked into the first store, and said, "I have a clogged sink at home. Do you have a chemical I can pour down my drain that will clear it out?" The look on the man's face was priceless! Eventually, he told me no. So I left and went next door. Same speech. Same response. Went to the next store, and basically said the same thing, but added, "In America, we have this chemical we pour down the drain." He said he didn't have it. So I asked him if he knew of anyone that did. He said no. So I asked him, "Have you ever heard of anything like that before?" His eyes were wide and he said "No!" I refused to walk out defeated! I remembered once when I was living at home, we had a clogged sink and couldn't buy draino, my mom used vinegar and baking soda. So I bought some at the market, and headed home. I poured it down with basically no results. I just got a little bit of bubbles coming through. I thought that I could take out the sink strainer and pull some of the gunk out, then try my vinegar and baking soda to get the rest out. Good idea in theory, but HORRIBLE in execution! Unbeknownst to me, the screw was attached to the pipe to keep the sink and pipe together. Pretty soon, my feet are soaking wet in some nasty grey goop! ... Well, that idea is out! I then realize the pipe can turn upside down. I grabbed a bucket, and let the goop pour into the bucket. I pulled out the hair that was inside with a nail I had in my room. Now I am covered with this nasty smelling goop, and I keep slipping around on my floor because it is EVERYWHERE! But, I clean out as much as I can get, and put my sink back together. I pour more vinegar and baking soda down the drain. It is working like a charm! Uganda forces you to wear many hats!

This final story has nothing to do with my adjusting to the culture or Ugandan way of life, but rather simply hysterical! While my friend from America was in town, we were walking down the street. I can't remember what we were talking about, but it didn't matter anyway. We both saw this lady walking toward us. I didn't want to say anything because it would just be rude, but I couldn't get over how odd this woman looked. She had an odd figure, and the most unruly hair I have ever seen on a Ugandan woman! She also was in need of a new dress. Our conversation slowed a bit as we both thought the same thoughts. Then, she gets close enough we notice she is a man. Brittany then states, “Oh! I thought that was a woman!” With that, the boda men we were walking past bust out laughing! One points to us and says, “Did you see that other lady?!” Any self control I might have had from the situation was lost as I realized everyone thought they were staring at a woman with an excessive amount of facial hair! I think this was so surprising because cross-dressing is illegal in Uganda, but here it was out in the open. Everyone seemed to be taken by surprise.

Moments such as these remind me how great life is! It doesn't matter where you are from or where you are, you will mess things up. The important thing is to take it with grace and a sense of humor! Learn to laugh at yourself as you are striving to be the best you can be.